A Flash Fiction Story To Start Your Evening
Fiction – the art of story - Entertainment
Enjoy some good old-fashioned angry fiction
“Pissedivity”
Flash fiction by Bellakentuky
Mike Mallick sat in his chair with his feet propped up on his desk. He twirled a telephone cord angrily while listening to a computerized mutation of Led Zeppelin’s, Whole Lotta Love.
“Twenty minutes and counting,” he growled. A fly buzzed through the door from the living room, circled the air above him and landed on the windowpane to his left. He watched the insect rub its legs together in anticipation of a sticky breakfast; a closer examination revealed a glob of oatmeal streaked across the glass. This was surely his kid’s fault. He’d square that away soon enough.
“Yes! Yes. Hello, I’m here.” Mike sat up.
“Why am I calling? I’m calling because I have a problem. It says right here on the bill, if you have a technical problem call this number. I’m calling about the internet. No, I’m not calling about the TV; I’m calling about the internet.”
“Wait! Don’t transfer me…”
Mike sat back and once again forced himself to listen to this painful rendition of a rock-n-roll favorite. He restarted the mental clock and watched the fly gorge itself. “I’ll bet you never have to wait for anything, do you?” he muttered.
Eight doodles and sixteen minutes later, someone picked up his call.
“Why am I calling? I’ve got a problem! That’s why I’m calling. Let me ask you a question; if you have separate numbers for TV and internet problems why don’t you just list both numbers on the bill? I know that’s not your department. But perhaps you might want to throw that into the suggestion box. It pisses your customers off; I’m pissed off!”
The fly landed on his bald spot and he swatted at it.
“My problem? My problem is the internet doesn’t work. No, it doesn’t work at all! There’s nothing… Yes, I restarted my computer. Are you- Are you chewing gum? Well I’m making it my business! Do you have any idea how annoying it is to hear you chewing gum? Yes, I do want to solve my problem. No the problem isn’t with me, it’s with you.”
Mike’s legged bobbed uncontrollably when the pesky insect landed on his desk. He slapped at it again.
“Listen Buster, I know you’re reading off a script!” He bellowed. “No! I DO have to yell! You guys don’t get it. I have to call you every other week because my internet goes out, and every time I call, I’m put on hold for at least a half an hour. Yes, I’ve restarted my modem, yes, I’ve restarted my computer, yes, I’ve restarted my modem and my computer at the same time. Hell, I even put on a white cowboy hat and danced naked in the yard praying for internet service.
Am I being sarcastic? Well you were the head of your class weren’t you? What? Don’t you dare transfer me! I need a tech out here- Today! You don’t do the scheduling. What do you do? You call this technical assistance? Any bonehead knows to restart everything. I’m being rude? You’re the one chewing gum-”
Mike lowered the handset. “That son-of-a-bitch hung up on me.” The fly zoomed by the telephone and landed on his desk. Mike looked at it and promptly squashed it. He chuckled. “Shit flows downhill don’t it.”
More fiction by Bellakentuky here
fic·tion/ˈfikSHən/ fiction
| Noun: |
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| Synonyms: | figment – invention – fabrication | |
| 1. | Pissedivity | |
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the state of being upset, angry, or otherwise ill-tempered.
“Hey Janelle, chill that pissedivity before you blow up and hurt yourself or someone else.”or”Mom you need to chill out ’cause you’ve reached a new level of pissedivity.
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| 2. | Pissedivity | |
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degree or level which one is pissed
It is wrong to commit homicide no matter what level of pissedivity you have reached.
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